Happy Birthday to me!

When did we grow up? Seriously...One day you're worried about nothing more pressing than what your mom packed in your school lunch and the next thing you know--bam!--you're worried about whether or not your toddler is eating enough to sustain a fruit fly. I know there's a whole lot more that happened in between learning to tie my shoes and wishing more of my 2nd graders could tie their own laces, but to be honest, it's all a blur. I have some really good memories, some really bad ones, and vague recollections of various school events and friends. It's just amazing to me that time can pass so quickly. I went from dreaming about the day I'd graduate college, get married, have babies to now wishing I could keep my babies as babies while wrestling with all the amazing things that come with their growth into toddlerhood and beyond.

I love being 30-something. Being in my 20s seemed like I was always waiting for something. Fabulous things happened in my 20s--I earned that college degree as well as my teaching credential, married the love of my life, embarked on a career in elementary education, bought my first new car and my first home, and gave birth to my son in the last year of that tremendous decade. But I always felt as if I was on the cusp of really living. Why, I have no idea. But I think it has to do with a conversation had in a college Spanish class...

We were discussing the "ideal" age and I decided that 35 sounded just about perfect. I reasoned that I'd have the bulk of my "learning years" behind me. I'd have finished schooling and gotten several years under my belt in my career choice, been married long enough to have worked out some kinks, and hopefully have had a couple of kids. I argued that I'd be feeling a little more in control of the direction of my life and able to enjoy the fruits of my labor (no pun intended). So in retrospect, that conversation had me looking ahead--way ahead--rather than living in the moment. Maybe that's why the past 10 years are a blur of paint in the canvas of my mind.

On my birthday this year, 2 of my best and oldest girlfriends took me to lunch. Andrea made the comment that we are moving away from 30 instead of moving towards it. I never thought of it that way! Maybe moving away from something will give me the perspective I need to enjoy it a bit longer rather than rushing ahead to the next goal. She asked what my goals were for this 32nd year of my life. Honestly, they are simple...to enjoy each day with my family and praise God for His blessings in my life. I feel as though I've "arrived," but to "where" I don't know. All I know is that I'm happy...deeply, truly overjoyed with the life I'm living! Do I know it all? Absolutely not! Will I ever know it all? I hope not! Am I to lament the fact that each year brings me closer to middle age, closer to being *gasp* old? I don't think so. I'm excited to be aging, to be gaining another year every year on March 6th. I truly believe that wisdom comes with age and experience, and I look forward to all of life's lessons that are lying in wait for me! Hmmm...guess I didn't need to wait until 35 afterall!

And for your amusement, here are a couple of pictures from my past...one as a baby (about 3 months old, I think) and one as a toddler (around 3 years old...yikes! That's how old my son is now!).