A Good Kind of Busy Part II

We've been physically getting our "classroom" ready for our first official homeschool year (with nearly every room in the house a potential "classroom" we've been busy), but we've also been busy in a different way readying our children's hearts and minds for our future tasks.  This is honestly where I've been--if not physically then mentally.  I finally had the stunning realization that my kids aren't babies anymore...HALLELUJAH! Instead of being frustrated with having so many chores to do myself to run the household I decided it's time to delegate.  We've been expecting the kiddos to pick up their toys and I've taught them to make their beds, but inevitably beds are unmade and there are tantrums over not wanting to help clean up messes.  *sigh*  Really big tantrums from a very adorable 3-1/2-year-old girl.  I know that my job as a mom is to provide consistency and discipline, and there are times when I'm just too tired to uphold my end of the bargain.  We all need a little grace, right?

My baby girl has been getting the best of me...and exposing my worst.  God holds us in a refining fire and I've been feeling the heat!  I've had a few students in the past that have left me feeling helpless--nothing I tried with them seemed to resonate and I ended up feeling intense relief when they exited my classroom door in June.  I always thought "if only that was my kid I'd..." or "yes, but, if he was mine.." and felt that having the sense of ownership, if you will, of one's child would just command authority and make things a little easier, a little more cut and dry.  Then Madi Moo entered the world one fine December morning in 2007.  She did nothing the first few hours but scream her displeasure at a slightly early eviction.  One birth attendant (there seemed to be a dozen people present, I have no idea who they were or why they were there) decried that she should receive "extra credit" on her Apgar scores for being burgundy.  Josh and I felt helpless and dazed that first morning, but thankfully our little babe settled and was quiet and charming as long as she was left alone that day.  After that she was an absolute delight--I described her until recently as joy and sunshine.

Moo Rylee is given to the dramatic.  She likes attention and I told Josh the other night that we should get her a spotlight for her 4th birthday.  Needless to say, our daughter can be charming and sweet and full of smiles then turn right around and grow fangs and horns.  It's a bit puzzling.  And this third year of life has definitely shown us more of her dark side--we know she sounds like Vader when she sleeps at times and I wonder how eerie it would be to plop a shiny black helmet on her head.  She might just use the Force to strangle her poor mother the next time I dare suggest she pick up her princess dolls.  Please understand she is not violent or evil, but she has a sinful heart just like the rest of us.  Just don't tell her or she'll scream at you and pout.  Our God is a God of mercy, and I know that because when she isn't making me want to run away and join the circus I want to hold her and cuddle her until the end of time.

She is strong-willed and we have had a really difficult time finding an appropriate consequence to use that makes an impact on her.  Spank her and she pouts and might end up in a worse mood.  Put her in time out and she'll just cop an attitude over and over.  Take toys away and she'll scream but won't help clean.  And her refrains in times of duress are "I'm tired" and "I'm scared" and we know that she is neither.  Everyone has bad days, and I can find compassion when I know she is having one--I understand what that feels like.  But when she is choosing to be ornery Josh and I stand with mouths gaping and shoulders shrugging.  There seems to be no explanation other than she just doesn't want to do "xyz" and, by golly, you can't make her!  Spank her, put her in time out, take away a privilege...she...doesn't...care.  Princesses don't take orders, apparently.

I've had enough of this lately, and I find myself laughing at my former thoughts of "if that was my kid" and so on.  And you know what?  It really stinks to feel helpless when it comes to your own kid.  All I can wonder is how in the world I'm going to homeschool this one when she chooses to do the opposite of what I want.  I know she's not like that all the time, thankfully.  But when the mood strikes I want to throw in the towel!  She refuses to eat meals, she won't help out, she won't share, she won't use the potty, she doesn't want to be a big girl!  Ah, and here we are at the heart of the matter.  My baby doesn't want to grow up.  Who can blame her?  Growing up is hard work.  It's also inevitable.  Mommy understands that, but Moo doesn't.

Prayer works, people.  I am so glad that when I'm at the end of my rope God tosses me another.  He never seems to run out.  And you know what?  He's holding the end of every rope I'm clinging to.  Last week my grip was slipping.  My precious girl had me in tears of frustration, anger, and more than a little pity.  I'd had enough, but when you are a parent you have to keep going.  Sometimes it's like being tied to a car traveling down the freeway--keep running or fall down and end up beaten and bloody.  Even if you stay on your feet your shoes are going to wear out.  So I prayed and prayed and asked for prayer.  And the next morning God sent me a pair of rollerskates (I'm old-school, lol).  My daughter continued to refuse to clean her room (third day running) and screamed and had a lovely tantrum that went on an hour or so.  But I felt serene.  I never lost my temper.  I found the wherewithal to just shake my head and hmmm and continue cleaning up the kitchen while my son quietly smooshed Playdough.  Oh, she tried to drag me down that freeway but my skates just rolled right along.  After she wore down a bit I handed her an olive branch and we made a compromise that squarely left Mommy in control yet allowed Moo to have some choice.

And I learned something.  God will keep throwing you that rope, but what He really wants is for you to let go.  When you do He's waiting with open arms to hold you in His lap as your Abba Father.  When I gave up (my daughter comes by her obstinance honestly) God said that He didn't.  And what I couldn't do, He did.  The day after I admitted I couldn't do it, couldn't possible train and mold this child she changed.  She was more pliant, more willing to bend, to listen.  Her protests were fewer and had lost some of their strength.  Let me be blunt--she WILLINGLY CLEANED HER ROOM and did it earlier in the day than she is assigned to do so!  She helped clean up toys!  What a difference!

I welcome each morning as a new day, I always extend that grace to my children.  And now I truly expect that we are going to have a good day without wondering what antics my daughter is going to deliver.  I know each day will have trials (today she hit her brother in the head with a wooden puzzle board and nearly took his eye out) and we might not all be on the same page with our moods and emotions.  But I'm not looking for perfect.  That would be boring!  And what fodder would I have for blogging?

Back to our recent busyness...Moo's drama aside, we have been working on consistency with responsibilities and personal accountability.  It's taking a lot of hand-holding (mainly for Moo) for now but I know that it won't be long before my kiddos are helping more and more.  I'm definitely not rushing them because that means they are growing up, lol.  Yet I am expecting more of them as is appropriate for their ages.  My main goal, now, is firming up our daily routine to allow for a better transition into our school time.  And if more housework is done--and less by me--then great!  We are using a program called Accountable Kids--it's everything I wanted to do but don't have the time/energy/creativity/resources/energy/skill/energy to make, lol.  I love that I've transferred our expectations and consequences from a more nebulous form to something concrete and placed the responsibility on our children's shoulders.  Dman is loving it!  Moo has both been responsive and had difficulty (not wanting to clean up), but all in all she is doing very well.  If you are looking for something similar for your family I encourage you to go take a look at the program here!

We will continue working each day--believe me, I'm working hardest at being consistent and firm when it would be so much easier to just let it all go and not hold the kids responsible for their chores or completing them in a timely manner.  The changes we're seeing are fantastic, if small.  If someone would just take my daughter and potty train her for me life would be pretty rosy...or at least rosy enough for me!

A Good Kind of Busy

Oh life...how you just have a way of...you know...yeah.  It's been over a month since my last blog post--wait, isn't that similar to what one might say at confession?  I'm not Catholic so I wouldn't know for sure but it sounds familiar (absolutely no religious-ritual-bashing intended).  Anyway, life has been moving steadily along.  It feels as though it's been both 3 years and 3 minutes since I last wrote, maybe because I'm always composing in my head.  Writing is my own form of song, a spoonful of sugar to help the daily medicine of life go down.  So even though I have forced myself, at times, to stay off of the computer it doesn't mean I haven't been typing away on my brain's keyboard.  Funny, though, that when I sit down and open up a new blog post nothing gets pulled from my mental files--no rough draft comes forward for a polishing.  So what you get is raw, and, frankly, I don't even know what I'm going to type next!  I'm trying to be honest, to be real, and keep things organic...whatever that means.

Back to life...I hate ants.  Hate them.  H-A-T-E them...  HaTe TheM... Let me give you an acrostic: A-annoying, N-naughty, T-troublesome, S-stupid.  Yep.  I used the "s" word.  The past week I've been consumed with AW478--that's Ant War 478 (which I'm not about to write out in Roman numerals).  Every summer with the first steady heat wave that settles in we get invaded.  They first appear around my bathroom sink, then my daughter's bathroom sink and tub, then the kitchen.  After that they seem to find their way into every part of the house.  I have done nothing for the past week but spray (all my good green intentions fly out when I see the little critters) and clean, repeat.  No workouts, no daily chores (except dishes), just ant annihilation--AW478.  Go ahead and lecture me on their value if you must.  I respect that God created them and that there must be a purpose for their existence, but that's where I draw the line at understanding them or caring about them.  Outside, no big deal...in my house, they've stepped their tiny legs over the line.  Last year one found its way into my EAR--I don't recommend that experience for anyone's bucket list, by the way.  I'm tired of ant trails, ant swarms, ant scouts, and the ant bridges to nowhere.  What can they possibly want?  Water?  Been tossing that theory around.  Sugar?  The only foodstuffs they've infested have been sweet, but very limited.  I don't care what they're after--I want them GONE!

Now that my ant rant is over, let me fill you in on the past month.  I've been making some changes around the house in anticipation of our upcoming first year of school.  Dman is going to begin his Kindergarten year--agh!  I remember being in tears over his first day of school when he was a day old.  I'm not exaggerating much!  Saving the homeschool story for another blog post, let me just say that the Lord showed us that He wants us to obey the call to homeschool our children, and obey we will.  I feel incredibly free because of that choice!  And Dman's first day of school?  There won't be a tissue in sight, unless one of us has the sniffles.  We are so excited about this amazing educational adventure, but I knew some changes needed to be made to prepare us for this journey.

If you're a mom you can appreciate where this all stems from.  I have no space, none.  No special hole or corner to call my own where I can be as messy or neat as I like, where I can begin a project and leave it OUT and UNATTENDED until completion, no where to store my "stuff" that isn't in someone's way (usually my own).  I'm not expecting a place to go where I can be left alone--I can't even go to the bathroom in peace and I don't know the last time I even bothered closing the door.  But I have scrapbooking supplies and photography equipment and tons of books...and most of it ends up tucked into spots all over the house and I end up having to send out a search party when I have need of something specific.  My desk has been in the loft--which slowly morphed into a tv/gaming/homeschool room in addition to my "office"--and always ended up covered in my "stuff" simply because the desk and the stuff were both mine and there appeared to be no where else to place it.  My scrapbook supplies are stored in my bedroom closet--I'm ok with that but there is more "stuff" than storage for it, especially the larger working items like my Cricut and paper cutters. And when I have some special project to work on I end up hauling everything downstairs to the kitchen table or dining room table and leaving my mess from here to yonder while trying to keep little hands from pushing buttons and exploring sharp objects and permanent pens and glue.  As my photography interest grew so did my equipment and books...and there's no safe place to put it so that it's all together when I need it.  All in all I've felt scattered and misplaced for the past 5 years.

When we moved into our home I suggested to Josh that we share the extra bedroom as an office.  After he stopped staring at me as though I had grown an extra head he reasoned there just wasn't enough space for both desks and all his hobbies and that he really needed a space all his own.  He needed a man-cave, I let him have his man-cave.  I was content to be able to shut the door on his man-caveness and not see it; I told myself my computer would likely become the "family" computer in time anyway and that the loft just made more sense all around.  Fast-forward 5 years and I'm tired of looking at the man-caveness for 2 reasons: (1) the room is SO messy I can't shut the door, and (2) the man is no longer in the man-cave because he decided almost 2 years ago that he liked having his computer downstairs so that he could be around the family.  So last month I made the executive decision to clean out the cave and reclaim it as a dual office and hobby space.

I took time cleaning out and consolidating, throwing away and reorganizing.  The extra room once again became functional.  The hobby desk hadn't really been touched by my husband since we moved in, though he took time to cover it in every tool he might foreseeably need at some point in time should he decide to do...something.  I left him all of the space in the office, minus the one hobby desk I claimed for scrapbooking and photography, and patted myself on the back.  Then I made the comment that we could have easily shared this room from the get-go because of all the wasted space, not really intending anything but just reiterating a point I tried to make years ago.  And you know what?  My hubby suggested we move my desk into the room and SHARE it so that there would be more space in the loft!

I gotta say, it feels so nice!  We laughed that in creating more usable space we are stomping around in my pet-peeve territory.  I hate what we call "wall-to-wall furniture" but we had to allow for it in the office so that we can both have functional space.  And as Josh said, it doesn't have to be pretty and sophisticated, it just has to work for us.  And we can actually shut the door!  It's still a but rough--a curio that doesn't have a spot, some boxes of electronic equipment that need to be gone through and put away, etc.--but MY desk is clean and I have somewhere to scrapbook!  And the loft feels more spacious and brighter with my desk gone.  The kids have more room to play and our homeschool area is less scrunched.  We can even play Kinect or Wii without falling over my desk chair.

Things aren't perfect.  I know that life has a way of shifting and changing so that what works now won't always be the right solution later on.  I'm happy with the way things are, now, though, and I think we are off to a good start.  It's good, all this busyness.  There are other things we've been working on--I'll write about that separately.  Now if the ants would just retreat I'd be happier!

Chive Talkin'...

In an attempt to deepen my domestic diva-ness (HA!) I am growing a few goodies in an ugly, plastic, backyard container.  Can I even begin to tell you how happy it makes me to look out my kitchen window and see the green lovelies happily hanging out in their new home?  Okay, maybe it isn't that earth-shattering, but I'm sure I can be a LOT more verbal if I kill them all.  So far so good, though, so you all are spared!

I have a small love affair with smallish tomatoes--I really don't care for the beefsteak varieties, and while I enjoy the grape tomatoes, they are a bit diminutive.  No, I adore the Compari and Amorosa types.  They are just big enough to slice for a sandwich without having to save a left-over tomato, and they are quick to slice and dice for salads and toppings.  The plant I selected to grow is called a "patio" tomato...whatever that is!  I just read the plant info and looked for size and these seemed closest to what I'm hoping to produce.  Now I just have to wait until August to see these babies for myself!  At least I HOPE to be harvesting tomatoes in August...

The tomatoes are growing upside down in that ugly container, so I chose to grow herbs in the top portion.  If I have a small love affair with tomatoes then what I feel for fresh herbs is nothing short of lust.  I love the fragrance, the color, the texture of fresh herbs!  Once you use them in your cooking it's hard to shake something dry out of a bottle again.  Sure, they take more time to prepare but it's worth it if you make time to do so.  For my personal garden selection I have basil, flat-leaf parsley, and chives.  Parsley has long been a go-to herb for me--I love it everything, nearly!  Fresh parsley just rocks--what can I say?  Basil is like a chorus of angels--amazing to behold and lovely to smell (I'm assuming heavenly angels would not be offensive to the nose!).  If basil made noise it would probably be harp music.  The fact that it's probably on the list of inflammatory foods my body does not like, well, I choose to ignore that.

So let me tell you about chives (see first photo above).  What an underrated herb!  I'm sure most people only have first-hand knowledge of the dried variety accompanying a baked potato in a restaurant.  Let's face it--you read a recipe calling for chives and what do you do?  You substitute green onions!  My friend, it is so not the same.  To steal an analogy from My Best Friend's Wedding, green onions are like Jello (no offense to either) and chives are like creme brulee.  They are subtle, delicate, surprisingly flavorful, and add a beautiful green punch to a dish.  You can snip them into small confetti-like pieces or go fancy and drape slender threads across a plate.  I never felt much for chives--I have a bottle of said dried variety in my pantry and only chose to add the herb to my ugly garden container in hopes that it might offer natural pest control (knowing that onions and garlic can do that).  But this past week my thinking has shifted.  Maybe it's going out in the cool of the morning to snip a few leaves for my breakfast.  Maybe it's the vibrant color (my favorite, by the way).  Maybe it's simply my need to root for the underdog!  Whatever the reason, I'm content with the joy of savoring this new addition to my cooking go-tos.

Here's what I've been enjoying at breakfast each day (courtesy of Clean Eating magazine):

1 slice whole wheat bread (or 1 English muffin or sandwich thin)

2 TBSP plain yogurt (I use Vegenaise since I cannot have yogurt and the goat/sheep/soy/coconut varieties are pricey)

1 TBSP dijon mustard

1/2 tsp basil (I've been using dried to stretch my current crop a bit for pasta sauce)

1 tsp olive oil (EVOO for those in the know!)

1 small tomato, sliced (or a scant handful of grape tomatoes, halved)

1 TBSP shredded cheese (I've used TJ's goat cheddar but lately I've been going fake with Daiya cheddar shreds--and I use both very sparingly)

chives (don't hold back here!)

sea salt & freshly ground black pepper

Toast your bread choice to your liking, favoring a lighter toast since it will be going back under the broiler.  Blend together the yogurt, mustard, evoo, and basil to make a spread (feel free to adjust the measurements to your liking--I rarely measure anything except in baking).  Add 1 TBSP of spread to toast, reserving the rest for tomorrow (and the next day, and the next day if you are like me and make too much).  Top with tomatoes (I season here with the salt & pepper), cheese, and FRESH chives.  Place under the broiler until cheese is melted.  Enjoy!

Lately I've also added about 1 tsp of bacon bits (the real kind, haha!)...oh yes, I went there!  (Sorry, Clean Eating mag!  I love you but couldn't resist!)

While outside snipping fresh chives the other morning I saw this...

...and this...

...and I just had to share!  And here is what we had for dinner tonight--using all 3 herbs, I might add. (Excuse the horrible lighting.  I was too hungry to care!)

On a side note, I also added eggplant to my little garden.  I will extol it's virtues if and when (a) it grows, and (b) I figure out what to do with it!

Miss K

These were too cute not to share, so here are a few more of Miss K!

Bellies, Babies, and Belts--oh my!

The past couple of months have been a blur of excitement and events!  I lead a pretty sedate pace of life, but sometimes things kick into overdrive--I'm sure you know exactly what I mean!  Back in April we were pleased to welcome our sweet nephew to the family.  As newbie Auntie and Uncle we were so excited to meet him...and we all got really sick...for 2 weeks...and missed the birth and the eagerly-awaited hospital visit.  Boo germs!  But on Easter Sunday we were well enough to gather with the family and meet this precious boy.  I only got a few pics--I didn't want to be overbearing and, frankly, I wanted to snuggle him more than take his picture!  I'm sure you can see why!

It seems like only yesterday that I was snuggling my own firstborn, and now he's a full 5 years old and such a joy to watch!  We signed him up for tae kwon do shortly after his birthday and he is THRIVING in the art.  I can't even begin to describe how cute it is to watch this little group of 4-6 year olds learning their commands and moves.  I knew it would be good for Dman, but I don't think I expected him to enjoy it so much.  I'm thrilled that he does!  In May he experienced his first round of belt testing and earned his Minnow (what the little guys are called in his studio) yellow belt.  We were so excited for him, and I think he was pretty proud of himself, too!  Now we have to wait and see if Moo wants to join him once she turns 4, or if she will continue with dance.  It's a tough decision!

May also brought another chance to play with a baby--this time with Miss K.  She is the niece of one of my oldest and best friends, Megan.  I had the pleasure of snapping some shots of Miss K when she was only 3 weeks old, and her family requested that I return to "play" again now that she's reached her 6 month mark.  We had a blast!  She is such a sweet girl and so easy-going.  It was rather cool and windy, but Miss K didn't seem to mind at all.  I think we captured her sweetness and her spunk--and her displeasure with doggie slobber.  Can't say I blame her much, considering little Dyno is almost as big as she is (though neither are very imposing, haha).  I'm very happy to say that I've already been chosen to photograph her at her one-year mark as well--and hopefully watch her grow and grow indefinitely!

 This past month has been rounded out--pun intended--by a special visit up north to see another special friend.  Megan and I ventured up I-5 to help host a baby shower for our best friend, Andrea.  Andrea is not a fussy person--she is simple and organic, environmentally-conscious, down-to-earth with just enough humor and quirkiness that makes her touchable rather than haughty.  We wanted to spoil her rotten and fuss over her--mission accomplished!!  We gave her a girly-but-not-too-feminine shower to make sure she and her hubby are prepared to welcome their twin girls. 

While there I was able to pin her down for some belly shots--she's on bedrest so she had no choice, muahahaha!  Talk about lovely--she looks amazing at 31 weeks with twins.  She looks amazing for 31 weeks of anything!  I've known her since 4th grade, and when I was editing her captures I was in awe of the "glow" and the quiet joy that radiates from her.  Never quite seen anything like it.  No photographer (and I'm definitely no professional by any means) can add that to an image.  I sure hope she enjoys the moments I captured for her!

Life appears to be slowing down for a bit in our household, at least for a little while!  I'm excited for summer and the moments that are sure to come with it.  How about you?

Here we go again...again!

The truth is ugly--isn't that what they always say?  My last post blog post was over a year ago, and a year ago I made a vow to do better, to be more regular, to post my pictures.  I've learned a lot about myself in the past year and here I am AGAIN vowing to maintain my blog.  Hmmm...

This past year has been a roller coaster--not the crazy loop-de-loop-toss-your-stomach-to-your-toes kind, but more of a fast-moving-slight-turn-spiral-here-and-there coaster.  There have been plenty of goings-on with the family which I'm sure to blog about in the future, but all we've endured has just shown me more of who I am which hasn't always been pleasant.  So what have I discovered?  What has kept me far from the blogging realm?  How about a list of "I" statements...

I am a perfectionist.  There, I said it.  I never saw myself as a perfectionist.  I hold myself to a high standard, yes.  I can be really hard on myself, yes.  "But I'm so laid back!" I argued with myself.  My house is far from perfect, I'm lazy, I struggle with organization...me, a perfectionist?  HA!  Yet I've learned this past year that perfectionism doesn't always have to translate to the outside things to mean something; it's lurking there in the not-so-hidden recesses of my mind telling me how to do something just-so and wreaking guilty havoc when I can't uphold the standard I've set for myself.  So I back off what I'm doing, change course, give up...and beat myself up a thousand times over for doing so.

I am a control freak.  I'm still in a bit of denial about this one even though the evidence stares me in the face everyday.  I have trouble delegating tasks.  I cringe and hover when my kids want to do something simple to help because I know it might make a little mess or they might not do it "right" and I'll have go behind them making things just-so.  I have to have the dishwasher loaded in just the "right" way so that I can easily unload it "my" way.  I think I can go on about this one, so I'll move on to the next statement.

I am (too) nice.  Is that really a bad thing?  I'm a nice person.  I'm a people-pleaser.  I can't say "no" easily, if at all.  I suppose being nice isn't a problem, but when you add in my perfectionism and need to control little things it makes me a bit of a mess, haha!

I am an introvert.  Okay, so that's not exactly a news flash to me!  I've always preferred being alone or with groups of people I know.  For some reason this past year I've turned inward more, and I can't explain it!  I guess it's gotten worse when you recognize that you would prefer to hide from people that you normally would jump at the chance to visit.  I'm working on this one!

I am a wife and mother.  Nothing bad about those titles at all!  Except that the labels presented above cause me to wallow in self-doubt or worry or heaps of guilt when I'm not sure I've done what I should.  Yeah, that whole Proverbs 31 woman?  I admire her, I want to be her!  But I have trouble looking at my own life and seeing the fruit of my efforts and how it fits into that Biblical chapter.  Even so, I wouldn't trade my roles as wife and mother (and, yes, in that order!) for anything.

I am a child of God.  Hallelujah!  Something I can't put a negative spin on!  It's also nothing new, but my perspective and my priorities have been skewed by the undue pressure I always seem to find myself cowering under.  It's amazing how simple and clear God's grace is for us when we take off the blinders and see it all around.  I've done nothing at all to deserve or earn His grace, His love, His forgiveness.  He gives it to me freely because He wants to.  There is no trade off, no stipulation, no fine print.  Just pure, holy grace; merciful cleansing to start new every single day.

This past year has forced me to look at myself and see the chinks in my armor, but I've learned that I can slather the weaknesses with generous globs of grace.  I can extend grace to myself and start new every day--every hour, even!  I extend grace to my kids--whew!...what a load off when I do that!  And the amazing joy that I always have known takes a new glow when I see myself through eyes of grace:

I am not a perfectionist...I'm a dreamer, a big thinker.  My goal is in the clouds but it might take a little rain to make it reachable.  That's okay.  I'm learning to deal with it!

I am not a control freak...I am a teacher, a leader.  I can let go a little at a time and enjoy the freedom that comes with it!  My little ones are learning to fly--how amazing is it that I get to teach them and swoop in from time to time when things aren't going so well?

I am not too nice...I'm generous, I'm compassionate.  I'm learning to say "no" prayerfully and "yes" even more so.  I'm learning to prioritize so that I can feel confident in my decisions.

I an not an introvert...I'm pensive, a family-gal.  I need time to think, pray, and feel because I've been equipped with deep-rooted emotions that allow me to absorb life like a sponge.  I want to be with my family members more than anything, and I know I'll never have regrets about the time I spend with them.

I am a wife and mother--and that will NEVER change!  I take each day as it comes and savor each moment of joy and look forward to tomorrow just before it arrives.  I won't drag myself through the mire when I lose my temper or handle a situation badly, but instead I'll lift my eyes to heaven and learn from my mistakes.

And I'll write about it all here.  I NEED this!  I am NOT perfect, I am NOT better than anyone else.  I am simply taking a day at a time and trying to remember to bathe myself in grace continually.  And maybe someone out there will take a dip with me!

I know, I know...

I haven't been keeping up my blog and my 365 has been sorely neglected! I've spent 3 weeks traveling, time in between packing and doing laundry, and then running errands and getting things back to normal. AND trying to squeeze some rest in there--we've been exhausted! Oh, and did I mention that my camera broke?...

Yep...2 days before I left for Arkansas my beloved D80 met an untimely death. I was so mad--not at the little boy who caused me to drop it because that was an accident. But I had been looking forward to taking some nice family photos on our trip. I traveled with my point-&-shoot, instead, and was able to document our trip, but I haven't had time to attack those pics and get them posted.

My wonderful hubby surprised me with a NEW Nikon DSLR--one I had been drooling over--when I returned home from my mom's. I've been loving it, but my editing software doesn't. So until I'm able to upgrade to the newest CS5 software, I don't have a way to read the RAW files I take...including our entire week in CO. ARGH! So don't expect anything super duper until probably June. In the meantime I will try to back track a bit and work on the shots from my Coolpix as well as any other pics I was able to capture before my D80 hit the pavement.

Bear with me! I'm trying to get my groove back. ;o)